My Visit to the DMV

“Now serving G040 at window 14.” Was the announcement over the loudspeaker during my recent visit to the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). My first thought, Oh brother, I wonder how long I’ll be sitting here? We’ve all heard the horror stories . . .

The day everyone dreads; you walk to your mailbox, pull out a notice from the DMV, open it, and read, “In order to renew your drivers license you must bring the attached document to the Department of Motor Vehicles on or before your license expires.”

You throw the notice on the counter and say, “I’ll get to it.” One month passes by. Now it finally sinks in that you have less than two weeks to renew your license, no problem, you go online to make an appointment. (Isn’t technology great?) Simply say, “Hey Siri, look up the Department of Motor Vehicles,” and like magic you’ve arrived at the website to secure an appointment.

Wow, that was easy! Now just click the link, provide the information required and low and behold the next available appointment is over ONE MONTH away.

Ok, guess I shouldn’t have waited.

What’s next? Check your schedule for a day off work and make plans to spend most of the day in lines when you actually get there. Finally, you get the pluck to make the dreaded trip. According to Siri, “The Department of Motor Vehicles on Plaza Drive in Oceanside is open today from 9 am to 5 pm.”

All I have to do is get there early, shouldn’t be a problem.

Hey Siri, “Directions to the DMV in Oceanside.”

“Getting directions to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Oceanside. Starting route to . . .” 

Travel time 15 minutes, 5.0 miles, estimated arrival time 7:45 am.

This isn’t so bad, you pull into the parking lot a see a handful of cars and plenty available parking spots. There are people already lined up outside the building. As you’re walking towards the building you’re thinking, Huh, this line isn’t that long. Then you round the corner of the DMV building and there it is - the dreaded line extends all the way around the building - oh brother, here we go.

You’ve prepared yourself mentally to just relax and go with the flow. You’re an optimist, think of all the things you can do while waiting in line, for example;

• The perfect time to do your morning stretches.
• People watching - you’ll see just about anything.
• Most are glued to their Smartphones.
• The older crowd have actually brought a hardcover book to read.
• And others are having Starbucks delivered to them while in line.
• Here’s a revelation, try starting a conversation with someone next to you in line.
• Quickly the parking lots fills up.

When you finally round the corner of the building and can see the entrance, you notice people being ushered in, past the line, that actually did make an appointment - so you sigh and just wait.

Now you’ve finally made it to the front entrance, you smile and greet the guard.

“How are you today?” He looks up, quite surprised that someone is not yelling at him about something and says,

“Doing just fine, how are you sir?’

Interesting, I’ll bet this guy is a former Marine. Wow, someone who is willing to actually have a conversation.

“Yes Sir, served in Vietnam, three kids, retired, and you sir? Any children? . . .”

Then you swallow hard, looking in the front door you see what looks like the lines at Disneyland. Stations with dividers labeled A - B - C - D, etc. The guard says, “Please go to line G.”

Ok, at least I’m in the door. And just inside the door there’s a magazine rack that’s filled with the California Drivers Handbook 2017. FREE! This ought to be interesting, haven’t read one of these in years. When you look around, of course, no one else has even picked one up. Now I see why California drivers are so bad, read about rules of the road? What knucklehead would want to do that?

So, finally, you're called to the front counter - Alright! I’ll just hand them my completed document, sign a few things, pay for my license and be on my merry way. Couldn’t be more wrong, “Here’s your number, the clerk says, have a seat wherever you like and listen for them to call this number.”

Ok, this seat looks good, now what?

Cool, what a perfect opportunity to clean out your wallet.

Or let’s catch up on California rules of the road.

Wow, no wonder driving in California is so crazy. According to Brian P. Kelly, Secretary, California Transportation Agency, “We share the road with over 26 million licensed drivers in California.”

Yes, you will have plenty of time to read the entire Drivers Handbook. And I encourage everyone to do just that, it’s good for a laugh. I guess people don’t make common sense a common practice after all.

Mercifully, the morning finally came to a close, “Now serving G040 at Window 14.” A quick eye exam, a photo, signed a couple of documents, payed for a new license, and the clerk said, “Thank you, look for your license in a couple weeks in the mail.”

Alright - I’m outa here! 

So, my reading friend just how long do you think all this took? Go ahead take a guess. I “Double-Dog” dare you.

One hour and forty minutes. Yes, I was quite surprised too!

So, today’s lesson, when you receive that notice to renew your license in the mail, don’t procrastinate, make an appointment. You’ll be glad you did.

26 Million licensed drivers in California. Unbelievable!