Oblivious

“I didn’t do it!”

Sounds like something a seven year old child would say when caught in the act of perpetrating a misdeed doesn’t it? Well, you’re close it was my 80 year old mother-in-law when she stained our brand new living room carpet. The word OBLIVIOUS explodes in my mind; lacking remembrance, memory, or mindful attention. I’m trying to be civil. But with absolute certainty, it’s lack of mindful attention!

You see each year my mother-in-law invites herself for the wonderful Thanksgiving dinner Lori so lovingly prepares. Then proceeds to stay until after January of the new year, anyway . . .

This whole episode started in late October, our aquarium leaked and ruined what was left of our carpet. It was a slow leak and wasn’t noticed for a couple weeks. What a mildew mess. So now we have no choice but to replace it. Without hesitation we shopped around and found just the perfect carpet, at a great price, in hopes of having it replaced before Thanksgiving. Sadly it was not to be. The Monday after Thanksgiving the carpet installers show up and do a beautiful installation.

You’ve all experienced it, the pride of ownership. Our home had a facelift, no stains from previous pet accidents, no threadbare tracks from the mother-in-law’s walker, no ugly paths from the living room to the kitchen. We were so proud.

Then the disgusting tracks from the walker began to appear.

“Don’t worry,” said Lori it’s just the nap from the carpet. “This carpet is thicker and once vacuumed it will return to its new look.”

“Ok, if you say so,” I said.

A few days passed. Our new living room looked like a train had passed over the carpet from multiple directions. It was time to vacuum. I’d seen enough.

I fired up the Dyson. If you’ve never used a Dyson before let me just say this, it has the power to suck ground squirrels from their burrows. Well, not really, but you get the idea. To my astonishment the tracks from the walker were lifted. The carpet regained it’s plush, even appearance except for . . . The grease stains left in the pile.

“What! Grease stains!” I ejaculated.

Immediately came the infamous words, “I didn’t do it.”

“Then who did?” I asked. “The cat?” Oblivious . . .

I immediately tipped the walker up to examine its wheels. And what to my wondering eyes did appear but a big wad of despicable, greasy gum stuck to the wheels.

“Did you check your walker after going shopping?” I asked.

“No. I’m very careful not to run over anything,” she said.

“Then where did this wad of grease come from?” I was fuming. I just shook my head, shut my mouth, and cleaned the mess - Oblivious . . .

All I can say is when faced with the ultimate in selfish stupidity it’s best to go for a long walk to calm your nerves. Did the grease come off? Thankfully, it did.

Once again, the unexpected joy of family and the holidays - enjoy yours!

Oblivious . . .

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