Skip to main content

Tucson Phone Slingers

In this episode, Tucson Phone Slingers . . .

He rode up to Miller’s Crossing just after sunrise and stopped at the Starbucks. Stepping down from the saddle, he stood momentarily, taking in the streets, parking lot, and empty storefronts. This scoundrel then slipped his "Colt" from its holster and demanded, “Name six gun-slinging dealers from Tucson, Arizona.”

You'd probably get as far as Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday before you wondered whether Chick Bowdrie - Texas Ranger was based on a real person. However, most could oblige instantly if that same rascal insisted on six of your best gem contacts.

On this year's road trip to Tucson, Arizona, we whizzed by huge road signs for Tombstone. Visit the historic OK Corral, 100 miles, exit 303. There, you can relive the pistol-toting Wild West days. This got me thinking.

Gunslingers sported two well-worn leather holsters with Colt six-shooters, dressed in frayed denim, a bandana tied around their neck, dusty, worn boots, spurs, a black flat crown hat, and a faithful strawberry roan. You've caught me; I've read too many Louis L’Amour westerns.

However, after visiting a local coffee shop in Tucson, I noticed a radically different contrast between the modern-day "cowboy" image and the debonaire image seen on television.

In the not-so-wild west, today's cowboy is clean-shaven, a manicure, dressed in pressed denim jeans, a dual-pocket embroidered shirt, a broad-brimmed Stetson hat, polished boots, a Rolex, and a fine leather sheath strapped to his belt. The latest smartphone hovered below his gun hand, and a quick-flip, six-inch knife at the other. The horses? Under the hood of their climate-controlled, ¾ ton, four-wheel drive pick-up trucks.

You soon realize you're not in California anymore when you witness the following in the local coffee shop. With the precision of a gunslinger, these modern-day "cowboys" draw their phones from their wide leather belts with huge buckles to pay for their coffee using an app. Then, with a wrist flip, the knife punctures a hole in the plastic lid so the coffee flows freely. It's quite a sight.

A few years ago, at the Tucson gem show, we stumbled across a booth where you could still purchase a crafted leather holster for a pearl-handled Colt 45 six-shooter, a Winchester rifle, and rather large knives that a Texas Ranger might have carried.

The characters hanging around this booth wore bearded poker faces with grizzled expressions. You've seen the type—tobacco-chewing, manly men.

Draw - their smartphone slides from its holster. They snap a photo, and the conversation goes like this; "Hey, Jack - you there? These pistols are a steal, and they cost only $1,200.00 (I'm sure I can talk this guy down). I'm sending you a photo; give me an honest opinion, no bullshit." In the meantime, Lori is standing about 20 yards away, watching this spectacle, hesitant to come near this booth.

"Can you blame her?” I’m thinking the coffee shop is a little more civilized.

So, remember this year in Tucson, remain on high alert for that phone-slinging tough guy who pokes you in the back and blurts out, "Hands in the air - give me your best deal, or I'll post a video and tag you on Tic Toc."

I'm Patrick Ball; thanks for listening; see you in the next episode.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Most Popular of All Time

Confidently Wrong: The Art of the AI Tall Tale

In this episode, A chat with Adamas the Chef on hidden recipes causing digital hallucinations. Pull up a chair and pour yourself a fresh cup of coffee—and please, for your own sake, taste it first. We need to have a quiet chat about why your computer sometimes decides to reinvent reality with the confidence of a five-star chef who has clearly lost his mind. In the world of technology, we call it a  hallucination . It sounds pretty dramatic, doesn’t it? As if the computer decided to ignore your instructions altogether in favor of a vivid, technicolor imagination that simply hasn’t met reality yet. But in truth, an AI hallucination isn’t a breakdown; it’s just a very confident, very polite mistake. Think of it like our friend Adamas , the Chef. Adamas is a master of the kitchen, but he is also a bit of a romantic who refuses to say “I don’t know.” When you ask him for a classic recipe he hasn’t made in years, he doesn’t stop to consult a cookbook—that’s far too pedestrian. Instead, ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Opening Day Magic 2026 . . .

It’s back. Baseball—yes, baseball ! If you’re someone who finds themselves inexplicably drawn to this peculiar ritual, let’s be honest with each other: it’s a bit odd, right? I mean, 162 games. That’s a lot of hot dogs, a lot of standing around, and a lot of grown men in oddly tailored trousers spitting with remarkable precision. And yet, here we are, poised on the precipice of another season. Thursday, March 26, 2026, to be precise—Opening Day. It’s a curious thing, this Opening Day. You walk into a stadium, or turn on the TV, and suddenly, everyone is infected with a highly contagious strain of . . . Optimism . It’s a spectacular form of collective amnesia. All of last year’s fumbles, the endless losing streaks, the existential dread of watching your bullpen implode in the eighth inning—poof. Gone. It’s entirely replaced by a wide-eyed, childlike belief that this year, finally, the baseball gods will smile upon us. The Cycle of Hope and Despair As a Cubs fan, I know this cycle intim...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ode To Gemology

For over 80 years, students of gemology have struggled with spectrums, bewildered by birefringence, and simply plagued by pleochroism. The following sonnet is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face, a glow to your heart, and a simple reminder that students of life and gemology rediscover nature's gifts every day.  Ode to Gemology , by a GIA on-campus student. Dispersion, fire, adventurescence. Orient, sheen, or iridescence. Refractive index, high or low. The luster should indicate that, you know. Polarization, double or single. What to do now, they intermingle. Pleochroic colors you really should see. Was that only two, or actually three? Birefringence should help you a lot. Use your polarizer and watch the spot. Now, did it jump most on low or high? Sure, you can get it if you really try! Your liquids should be an aid, I think. Does it float, suspend, or slowly sink? Just use your imagination now. (He doesn't see me wiping my brow.) Solid inclusions or only bubbles? Huh, th...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Cowardice of Corporate Jargon

Picture this: an email lands in your inbox. A colleague—maybe even a friend—needs a favor, a second set of eyes, a moment of your time. You sigh, stare at the glow of your monitor, and type: “I’d love to help, but I just don’t have the bandwidth right now.” Hit send. Problem solved. Conscience clear. Except it shouldn’t be. Most of us have said or sent that line at least once, hoping it would land gently. On the surface, it’s perfect—efficient, polite, even self-aware. And that’s exactly the problem. It lets you decline without ever quite telling the truth. You didn’t just say no; you softened the discomfort of being human until it barely felt like a feeling at all. Instead of admitting, I’m overwhelmed , or I don’t have the energy , you reach for the sterile vocabulary of a server room. You turn a feeling into a metric. A boundary into a system limitation. Apologies, my data transfer rate is capped. Please submit a ticket to my emotional help desk. It’s a clever little trick—and an un...
Post a Comment
Read more