Boneheaded Questions

In this episode, Bonehead Questions . . .

It’s been said, “There are no stupid questions,” right . . . ? You be the judge.

Here’s one, "If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?”

My recent retail experience at a Home Improvement Center I've heard more than my share of stupid questions. Admittedly, all those years of teaching, I gave people the benefit of the doubt. Repeatedly, I made it clear that there were no stupid questions. As an educator, you quickly realize the link between information and applied learning is closely tied to questions and one’s self-image.

But in these times of “I want it now” and “I’m the victim” that doesn’t seem to apply. Especially when it comes to dealing with the public and really cretinous questions.

During my four year retail transition, I was introduced to some really stubborn and ignorant Do-It-Yourself (DIY) folks trying to save a buck that asks really boneheaded questions.

You see, implementing a skill requires patience, specialized knowledge, dedication, concentration, practice, and lastly having the courage to ask those questions that were the result of simply not having the right experience.

Let’s call him lucky customer #13 - Thirteen enters the store with a frazzled expression on his face, a dirty, sweaty, torn tee shirt, and his smartphone (with a shattered screen) in hand.

“I’ve been hammering up floor tile. I need to remove glue from the concrete. There’s a tool you guys have, I’ve seen on your website. How much?”

That’s a valid question, don’t you think?

My response, “Yes, we have a coating removal tool that will do the job. It requires you to use a floor polisher. Have you ever used one?”

“No - but on my way in I watched the YouTube Video on how to run that machine. Looks pretty easy, I’ll take it.”

“Would you like a demo first?”

“No way, I’m in a big hurry and need to finish this project.”

“Ok, this machine requires a light touch, don’t try to muscle it, if you run into any problems just give us a call.”

30 minutes later the phone rings.

Customer is now furious. “How in the hell are you supposed to control this piece a shit! The cords too long. It jumps all over the room. There are now three large holes in my walls trying to control this crazy thing. (Bonehead question) What are you going to do about fixing my walls?”

What can you say? “I suggest you return the machine and call a contractor.” (Bonehead!)

Customer number two enters Tool Rental staring intently at his iPhone. Looks up for a split second then back to his phone, “Do you guys have a welder?”

“Absolutely, what are you trying to weld?’

“I need to attach a piece of metal to a fencepost. (Bonehead question) What will that look like?”

I’ll admit I had to pause - then ask. “Have you ever used a welder?”

“Nope. It can’t be that difficult. Can’t you teach me?”

Not really. (Bonehead!)

As you can see from these two examples people really do ask stupid questions.

By the way, "If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?"

Any questions . . . ?

This is Patrick Ball, thanks for listening. See you in the next episode.