Skip to main content

Boneheaded Questions

In this episode, Bonehead Questions . . .



It’s been said, “There are no stupid questions,” right . . . ? You be the judge.


Here’s one, "If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?”

My recent retail experience at a Home Improvement Center I've heard more than my share of stupid questions. Admittedly, all those years of teaching, I gave people the benefit of the doubt. Repeatedly, I made it clear that there were no stupid questions. As an educator, you quickly realize the link between information and applied learning is closely tied to questions and one’s self-image.


But in these times of “I want it now” and “I’m the victim” that doesn’t seem to apply. Especially when it comes to dealing with the public and really cretinous questions.


During my four year retail transition, I was introduced to some really stubborn and ignorant Do-It-Yourself (DIY) folks trying to save a buck that asks really boneheaded questions.


You see, implementing a skill requires patience, specialized knowledge, dedication, concentration, practice, and lastly having the courage to ask those questions that were the result of simply not having the right experience.


Let’s call him lucky customer #13 - Thirteen enters the store with a frazzled expression on his face, a dirty, sweaty, torn tee shirt, and his smartphone (with a shattered screen) in hand.


“I’ve been hammering up floor tile. I need to remove glue from the concrete. There’s a tool you guys have, I’ve seen on your website. How much?”


That’s a valid question, don’t you think?


My response, “Yes, we have a coating removal tool that will do the job. It requires you to use a floor polisher. Have you ever used one?”


“No - but on my way in I watched the YouTube Video on how to run that machine. Looks pretty easy, I’ll take it.”


“Would you like a demo first?”


“No way, I’m in a big hurry and need to finish this project.”


“Ok, this machine requires a light touch, don’t try to muscle it, if you run into any problems just give us a call.”


30 minutes later the phone rings.


Customer is now furious. “How in the hell are you supposed to control this piece a shit! The cords too long. It jumps all over the room. There are now three large holes in my walls trying to control this crazy thing. (Bonehead question) What are you going to do about fixing my walls?”


What can you say? “I suggest you return the machine and call a contractor.” (Bonehead!)


Customer number two enters Tool Rental staring intently at his iPhone. Looks up for a split second then back to his phone, “Do you guys have a welder?”


“Absolutely, what are you trying to weld?’


“I need to attach a piece of metal to a fencepost. (Bonehead question) What will that look like?”


I’ll admit I had to pause - then ask. “Have you ever used a welder?”


“Nope. It can’t be that difficult. Can’t you teach me?”


Not really. (Bonehead!)


As you can see from these two examples people really do ask stupid questions.


By the way, "If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?"


Any questions . . . ?


This is Patrick Ball, thanks for listening. See you in the next episode.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I expect fresh commentary....when will this come forth?

Most Popular of All Time

The Birth of a Cubs Legend

In this episode, The 162-Game Exhale — and the Birth of a Cubs Legend There’s a hush in the baseball world on Game 162 — a collective breath drawn in and slowly released. Scoreboards stop flipping. Dugouts empty. For six months, the game has been our steady heartbeat, pulsing from the cherry blossoms of Tokyo in March to the crisp, playoff-charged winds of late September. And now, as the regular season exhales, baseball fans everywhere pause to absorb the story we’ve just lived. For me, that story has been deeply personal. This season unfolded in the rhythms of my daily life. It was the summer soundtrack echoing beneath the constant turmoil of politics and sensational headlines. It was a handful of carefully chosen ballpark pilgrimages stitched together with countless nights in front of MLB.TV. And at the center of it all, for a lifelong Cubs fan like me, it revolved around one name — a young center fielder who turned hope into history: Pete Crow-Armstrong. The 2025 season didn’t begin...

Paris – the End of Silence

✈️  In this special episode: Paris – the End of Silence Sometimes, connection arrives in the most unexpected form—not through grand gestures, but through a quiet voice carried by technology. In a Paris apartment, I finally understood my family’s words . . . and felt my mother’s presence in every sentence. Since I was a little boy, France has been both a beautiful and frustrating paradox in my life. Every six to nine years, my mother, Mauricette, would take my brothers and me back to La Rochelle to visit our French family. The moment we arrived, the air would fill with a sound I loved but couldn’t share in—the rapid-fire, musical rhythm of French. My aunts, uncles, and cousins would warmly sweep me into hugs and kisses, their words flowing like a lovely melody I couldn’t quite catch. I’d smile brightly, trying to communicate with my eyes and hands. But as soon as we stepped off the plane, my mother and her sister-in-law, Joséan, started talking animatedly. They were gone, chatting h...

Pushing the Pause Button

In this episode, Pushing the Pause Button: Stepping Off the Treadmill Hello, friends — If you're reading this, I'm already off the grid. Today begins a much-needed vacation, and for the next few weeks, On the Fly is taking a break right along with me. For a long time, my inner voice has said, 'Keep every commitment, no matter what.' That's meant early mornings, long days, and a calendar packed with posts, podcasts, and projects I couldn't seem to say no to. I've been trying to be the tireless workhorse—but that kind of grind doesn't end well. Lately, I've noticed I'm not quite myself—shorter fuse, louder sighs, and a few too many grumbles (Lori deserves a medal). That's when you know it's time to hit pause before the spark burns out. So, I'm stepping back to rest, recharge, and remember what it feels like to not live by the next deadline: no tech, no to-do lists, just some space to breathe. Thank you, truly, for all your support and ...

The Friday Morning Pause

In this episode,  The Friday Morning Pause: When My Brother’s Bookshelf Called Me to Stillness We live in a world allergic to stillness. Our mornings begin mid-sprint—thumbs scrolling before our eyes even open. The impulse to jump into the digital chaos is immediate. But sometimes, stillness finds you . It was early Friday morning. We’d arrived late the night before, stepping into the cool air before the day turned hot. Half-awake, I reached for my phone—emails, headlines, social feeds waiting like a morning buffet of distraction. We were in Cuba. No Wi-Fi. No 5G. No password. Just stillness, disguised as inconvenience. Instead, I caught sight of something unexpected: a small stack of books on my brother’s TV shelf. My brother and his wife are powered by perpetual motion. They are the definition of overscheduled and overstimulated. Yet there it was: Stillness Is the Key by Ryan Holiday, quietly mocking my scrolling habit. The irony was perfect. I put my phone down—a small, delibe...