Skip to main content

Boneheaded Questions

In this episode, Bonehead Questions . . .



It’s been said, “There are no stupid questions,” right . . . ? You be the judge.


Here’s one, "If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?”

My recent retail experience at a Home Improvement Center I've heard more than my share of stupid questions. Admittedly, all those years of teaching, I gave people the benefit of the doubt. Repeatedly, I made it clear that there were no stupid questions. As an educator, you quickly realize the link between information and applied learning is closely tied to questions and one’s self-image.


But in these times of “I want it now” and “I’m the victim” that doesn’t seem to apply. Especially when it comes to dealing with the public and really cretinous questions.


During my four year retail transition, I was introduced to some really stubborn and ignorant Do-It-Yourself (DIY) folks trying to save a buck that asks really boneheaded questions.


You see, implementing a skill requires patience, specialized knowledge, dedication, concentration, practice, and lastly having the courage to ask those questions that were the result of simply not having the right experience.


Let’s call him lucky customer #13 - Thirteen enters the store with a frazzled expression on his face, a dirty, sweaty, torn tee shirt, and his smartphone (with a shattered screen) in hand.


“I’ve been hammering up floor tile. I need to remove glue from the concrete. There’s a tool you guys have, I’ve seen on your website. How much?”


That’s a valid question, don’t you think?


My response, “Yes, we have a coating removal tool that will do the job. It requires you to use a floor polisher. Have you ever used one?”


“No - but on my way in I watched the YouTube Video on how to run that machine. Looks pretty easy, I’ll take it.”


“Would you like a demo first?”


“No way, I’m in a big hurry and need to finish this project.”


“Ok, this machine requires a light touch, don’t try to muscle it, if you run into any problems just give us a call.”


30 minutes later the phone rings.


Customer is now furious. “How in the hell are you supposed to control this piece a shit! The cords too long. It jumps all over the room. There are now three large holes in my walls trying to control this crazy thing. (Bonehead question) What are you going to do about fixing my walls?”


What can you say? “I suggest you return the machine and call a contractor.” (Bonehead!)


Customer number two enters Tool Rental staring intently at his iPhone. Looks up for a split second then back to his phone, “Do you guys have a welder?”


“Absolutely, what are you trying to weld?’


“I need to attach a piece of metal to a fencepost. (Bonehead question) What will that look like?”


I’ll admit I had to pause - then ask. “Have you ever used a welder?”


“Nope. It can’t be that difficult. Can’t you teach me?”


Not really. (Bonehead!)


As you can see from these two examples people really do ask stupid questions.


By the way, "If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?"


Any questions . . . ?


This is Patrick Ball, thanks for listening. See you in the next episode.

Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
I expect fresh commentary....when will this come forth?
September 15, 2020 at 11:33 AM
Post a Comment

Most Popular of All Time

We Need Awe More Than Ever

In this episode, Why We Need Awe More Than Ever Yesterday morning, I slipped into the cool stillness of my backyard before dawn. The air was crisp, the silence deep—broken only by the faint rustling of leaves and the familiar calls of birds waking early. Then I looked up. A thin crescent moon hung low in the east, with Venus just above it like a shining jewel. The sky was clear and full of stars, and for a moment, I felt something I hadn’t in a long time: Awe! For thousands of years, the heavens have carried on their steady dance, untouched by human noise. No ruler, no election, no breaking news has ever changed their rhythm. And yet here I was, tempted to reach for my phone—to trade the eternal for the urgent. Instead, I stayed. I watched the moonrise, the sky slowly lighten, and the world around me stir. Ducks passed overhead in a loose V, hummingbirds zipped past to visit their feeder, pausing mid-air as if curious about me sitting so still. Little by little, the static in my mind f...
2 comments
Read more

The Birth of a Cubs Legend

In this episode, The 162-Game Exhale — and the Birth of a Cubs Legend There’s a hush in the baseball world on Game 162 — a collective breath drawn in and slowly released. Scoreboards stop flipping. Dugouts empty. For six months, the game has been our steady heartbeat, pulsing from the cherry blossoms of Tokyo in March to the crisp, playoff-charged winds of late September. And now, as the regular season exhales, baseball fans everywhere pause to absorb the story we’ve just lived. For me, that story has been deeply personal. This season unfolded in the rhythms of my daily life. It was the summer soundtrack echoing beneath the constant turmoil of politics and sensational headlines. It was a handful of carefully chosen ballpark pilgrimages stitched together with countless nights in front of MLB.TV. And at the center of it all, for a lifelong Cubs fan like me, it revolved around one name — a young center fielder who turned hope into history: Pete Crow-Armstrong. The 2025 season didn’t begin...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Silent Grid–Part Two

In this episode, The Silent Grid – Part Two Sirens split the night as Greenwood went dark. Marvin knew instantly—the blackout wasn’t an accident. It was a warning. In this quiet town, where life once unfolded at a predictable pace, a sleek, intuitive smartphone—a so-called gift from the future —has arrived. But it’s no tool for connection. It’s a silent force, erasing individuality and turning neighbors into something less than human. Marvin Gellborn, a man who values independence, sees the truth. His device isn’t helping; it’s testing him, watching him, and quietly embedding itself into the life of Greenwood. Welcome back to On the Fly . In this week’s episode of The Silent Grid , GridBot tightens its grip. After a hopeful community gathering, Marvin and his robot companion, Norman, notice a troubling absence—the very generation they hoped to reach has vanished into the neon glow of The Signal Box , a youth tech hub pulsing with digital obsession. When Greenwood’s lights vanish, Marvi...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Pessimism Aversion Trap

In this episode, The Pessimism Aversion Trap Picture this: a room full of bright minds nodding in agreement as a bold new strategy is unveiled. The slides are polished, the vision is grand, and the future, we're told, has never looked brighter. Everyone beams—because who wants to be the one to say, "Um… this might not work"? Heaven forbid someone spoil the mood with a dose of reality. Better to smile, add a buzzword or two, and march confidently toward disaster. That's how the Pessimism Aversion Trap works. Even now, I can still hear the sound—a high-pitched shriek and a digital hum, followed by the slow, rhythmic clatter of data pouring from a 5¼-inch floppy disk. It was the late 1980s, and my makeshift home office (our living room) was dominated by what felt like a marvel of modern engineering: a used Tandy 1000 PC with not one, but two floppy drives. To top it off, we purchased a 'blisteringly fast' 300-baud modem—which, for the uninitiated, could downloa...
1 comment
Read more