Skip to main content

Feeling Human Again

In this episode, The Unexpected Thankfulness of Feeling Human Again

I’ll be honest with you: My triumphant return from France was not the glamorous homecoming I had imagined. No graceful glide back into routine. No cinematic jet-setter moment where I lift my suitcase off the carousel and wink at life like we’re old pals.

Instead?

I came home and immediately launched into a two-week performance piece titled The Great American Couch Collapse. My days blurred together in a haze of soup, hot tea, tissues, and desperate negotiations with the universe for just one nostril—one!—to function properly. The living room sofa became my emotional support furniture. And any creative idea that dared tiptoe into my congested brain was gently shown the exit with a firm but courteous, “Not today, friend. Try again later.”

When life hits the pause button like that—when you’re exhausted, sick, and mentally unplugged—how do you find your spark again?

Somehow, today, I felt it. A tiny shift. A clearing of the mental windshield. And it struck me that the thing I’m most grateful for this Thanksgiving isn’t the trip or the memories or the miles—it’s the astonishing, unglamorous blessing of simply feeling human again. Coming back to myself hasn’t been about grinding forward. If anything, it’s been about drifting until I found the right current.

So I shut down my notifications. Ignored the to-do list (which did not appreciate being ignored). And went back to the things that have always steadied me: picking up my guitar, wandering back to the piano keys, and letting myself read quietly in the early morning light.

These aren’t just hobbies. They’re homing beacons. Each one gently tugged me back toward the person I recognize. And the more I played and read, the clearer it became: the spark I needed wasn’t some new, future goal. It was a memory. It lived somewhere much older, much deeper—tucked away in a warm, perfectly preserved moment that still glows.

The Geography of Wonder: Cuba, IL, 1960s

Every time I sit with music or stillness, I get transported straight back to Cuba, Illinois, in the early '60s—my original landscape of wonder.

There, the air smelled fresh and clean, promising snow. Fall wasn’t merely a season; it was a display, a kind of fireworks show from nature. Winter crept in with a hush that felt sacred. Those weekends at Grandma’s house—good grief, the unconditional love in those walls could’ve powered a town.

That’s where the spark lives.

It’s in the hush of the first snowfall—the Christmas lights glowing on the town Square. The thrill of walking into Santa Land at the old True Value hardware store, staring at everything like it was magic because, in that moment, it truly was.

That childhood innocence still charges my batteries better than any self-help book ever could.

We’re constantly told to grind, hustle, and stay forward-looking. But sometimes, to move ahead, we have to turn inward. And backward. And softer. If you’re depleted, overwhelmed, or bone-tired, I hope you can find your own Cuba, IL—the place, the music, the ritual that reminds you of who you are at your most hopeful and unburdened.

Because getting back “On the Fly” isn’t about doing more; it’s about seeing the magic again. It’s about remembering the tiny miracles that lift us in the first place.

Today, I’m profoundly grateful for a healing body, a clearer mind, and the memories that help me greet a complicated world with something like optimism. I'm thankful that the lights on the Cuba, IL, Square still shine brightly enough to illuminate the path forward.

Here’s to renewed energy, a beautiful holiday season, and carrying those childhood sparks—that essential wonder—wherever life takes us next.

I’m Patrick Ball. Stay curious, ask questions. Happy Thanksgiving!

Comments

Don Hanley said…
Agaib - a well written piece - and please tell us more about France.

Most Popular of All Time

The Yellow Legal Pad

In this episode, the Art of Refiring July 1st is staring me in the face, less than two weeks away. For years, retirement seemed like something that happened to other people. Suddenly, it's on my calendar. I've been thinking a lot about the dreaded "R-word" lately. Not because I'm worried about having enough to do. Quite the opposite. What fascinates me is this strange paradox: Why does retirement make so many of us nervous, while having a job—even one that regularly drives us crazy—somehow feels comforting? Let's be honest. Most of us spend years complaining about meetings that should have been emails, reply-all disasters, impossible deadlines, and that one coworker who insists on microwaving leftover fish in the breakroom. Yet when the idea of walking away finally arrives, we hesitate. I think I've figured out why. A career isn't just a job. It's a highly structured coping mechanism. For forty-plus years, somebody else has basically decided what I...

The Big Rip and the First Tee

The telescope (Celestron) sits quietly under its cover, temporarily blinded by Southern California's annual meteorological hostage situation – June Gloom. Somewhere above that thick gray ceiling, photons that began their journey before humans appeared are streaming across the cosmos, only to be intercepted by a marine layer that seems to have veto power over astronomy. Instead of observing the universe, I find myself imagining – The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking) by physicist Katie Mack. According to modern cosmology, the universe may eventually end in a Big Rip, a Big Crunch, Heat Death, Vacuum Decay, or some other catastrophe that sounds suspiciously like a rejected heavy-metal album title. Astrophysicists spend their careers calmly discussing the possibility that reality itself could suddenly cease to exist because a quantum field had a bad day. It's a remarkable way to start a Saturday morning. One moment you're contemplating the ultimate fate of spacetime...

Epictetus, Ego, and Acronyms

In this episode, Destroy Communication, One Three-Letter Acronym at a Time This week, I want to explore a deeply relatable, universally feared workplace character: the "know-it-all." Now, I’m not pointing fingers here. If we are being completely honest, we have all played this role. We've all uttered some version of, "Yes, absolutely, that aligns with our strategic objectives," while our internal monologue is screaming, "I don't even know what the objective is, let alone the strategy." What got me thinking about this was a chapter in Ryan Holiday's book, Wisdom Takes Work . Holiday leans on a powerful piece of Stoic truth from the ancient philosopher Epictetus: "It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows." It's a brilliant quote that strikes right at the heart of the human ego. You can't learn what you already know, and you certainly can't learn what you pretend to know to save face. Though to be ...

The Places You'll Go . . .

Well, the time has arrived. Yes, July's drawing near, And somehow I've managed to last seven years! I've analyzed forecasts and studied the trends, While spreadsheets multiplied without seeming to end. We've planned for the sunshine, the storms, and the load, while Mother Nature kept changing the code. But through all the numbers, the forecasts, and charts, the best part of Cenergy's always been hearts. The people beside me, year after year, Made even the toughest challenges clear. To the bright, talented folks reading this today, The future is yours now—you're well on your way. And unlike my era, here's the key: You’ll work with AI just as smooth as can be. The reports that took hours may take only minutes. The models you build with intelligence in it. The data will flow faster than ever before, While AI handles tasks that are mostly a bore! But here's my advice as I head out the door: Technology changes, but people matter more. AI can predict, calcula...