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Sweden Called . . . They Said No.

Have you ever wondered about the Nobel Prize? Let's look at Where Genius Meets “Wait—Where’s My Medal?”

Every October, the Nobel Prizes are announced, and humanity pauses to celebrate the "greatest benefit to mankind." And every year, like clockwork, a specific type of person appears online to complain—at length—that they were robbed. (Well, maybe this year more than most.)

The Origin: A Legacy of Guilt

The prize exists because Alfred Nobel, a Swedish inventor, had a crisis of conscience. Nobel held 355 patents, but he was most famous for inventing dynamite. When a French newspaper mistakenly published his obituary, calling him the "Merchant of Death," he decided to buy a better legacy.

In his 1895 will, he left the bulk of his massive fortune to establish five prizes (Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature, and Peace). Because he was Swedish, he entrusted the selection to Swedish institutions, such as the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences. The only outlier? The Peace Prize, which he sent to Norway for reasons he never actually explained.

The Requirements: There is No "Apply" Button.

For the gentleman currently drafting a Tweet titled “Where’s My Nobel,” let’s be clear: You do not apply for a Nobel Prize.

The process is a 16-month, secretive marathon. Thousands of invited experts, former laureates, and university deans quietly submit names. Committees then spend months debating behind closed doors. The rules are as follows:

  • Rule #1: Self-nomination is an automatic disqualification.
  • Rule #2: Your work must have changed the world, not just your Twitter feed.
  • Rule #3: The deliberations are sealed for 50 years.

If you think you were "this close" to winning today, you won’t actually know until the year 2076.

This reality doesn't stop the Pretentious—those who speak with immense authority on things they don't understand.

  • There’s the Garage Physicist who "solved" cold fusion with a modified toaster and is furious that researchers with billion-dollar lasers "stole" his idea.
  • There’s the Keyboard Diplomat who believes his ability to stop a Facebook flame war is the digital equivalent of a ceasefire.

They point to outliers like Barack Obama’s 2009 Peace Prize—awarded after only 12 days in office—as proof that "anyone can win.”

But even the controversial winners had to be nominated by a global network of experts.

There’s one final thing worth noticing: Almost no one who actually wins a Nobel Prize was working toward a medal. They’re too busy chasing problems and failing quietly in labs and libraries. They aren't demanding recognition; they’re paying attention to what needs to be done next. That—not a gold medal—is the most Nobel-worthy quality of all.

So if Sweden didn’t call, take a breath. History isn’t shaped by ceremonies. It’s shaped by people who keep showing up, doing the work, whether anyone is watching or not.

Until then, let’s stick with our own prestigious honors.

Like Employee of the Month.

Or my personal favorite—Least Likely to Reply All.

I'm Patrick Ball. Stay curious, ask better questions. See you next time.

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