Skip to main content

The Language of Home: Building a Sanctuary

This episode is for anyone trying to find their footing in a new place—whether it’s a new city, a new job, or a new country.

The light in Florence, Italy, has a way of making everything feel like a Renaissance painting—the golden hue on the stone, the steady rhythm of the Arno River, and the feeling that you are walking through a history much larger than yourself.

I was there to give a presentation to a class of Gemology students (April 2008). I was prepared to discuss color grading and refractive indices, but not to be outed as a language tutor. Feeling very much like a guest in a storied land, a hand shot up enthusiastically.

"You’re the guy on the podcasts," the young woman said, her eyes bright with recognition. "You’re the one teaching us English."

I laughed nervously. If you know my flat Midwestern accent, you know the irony here. I am hardly an Oxford professor. But later, as I wandered the cobblestone streets beneath the shadow of the Duomo, the humor faded into a powerful realization.

I understood I was doing for her what my mother, Mauricette, had to do for herself nearly seventy years ago.

In 1959, my mother, Mauricette Elaine Ball, stepped off a plane from La Rochelle, France, and landed in the middle of the American Midwest. She was barely in her mid-twenties. She traded the Atlantic Ocean for cornfields, and the history of Europe for a town where the biggest landmark was the hardware store.

She didn't just leave her geography behind; she left her native tongue. She came to Cuba, Illinois, where the locals affectionately called her "Doc Ball’s French lady".

She could have let the "foreignness" of the Midwest keep her on the outside. Instead, she chose resilience. While she was struggling to learn English verbs, she was already fluent in the language of a made bed, a clean house, and a hot meal waiting on the stove.

She taught me that home isn't just a place you go; it's a language you speak.

Building Your Own Vocabulary of Comfort

I know many of you reading and listening to this are far from where you started. Maybe you are learning English right now, using my voice to practice your pronunciation (my apologies to your grammar teachers). Maybe you are a student in a new city, trying to decipher the noise of the modern world.

If you feel like a stranger in a strange land, here is my advice: Don't wait to become fluent before building your sanctuary.

  1. Find Your Rhythm: My mother found hers in the daily tasks of caring for her family—starting her day at 5:30 a.m. to ensure our house was a place of comfort. Create a routine that feels familiar, even if the world outside is strange.
  2. Listen for the Music: Growing up, I loved the musical rhythm of my French family's voices, even when I couldn't understand every word. Look for the people in your life who speak with kindness. Listen to their heart, not just their words.
  3. Be the Bridge: My mother became a beloved part of her community by giving of herself—whether working at the local orchard or giving perms to her sisters-in-law in our kitchen. You don't have to be from a place to belong to it.

To My Global Neighbors

I've been fortunate to spend a lifetime exploring this beautiful world. I've walked through the vibrant energy of Vietnam and India and stood beneath the modern skylines of Dubai and Singapore. I’ve experienced the quiet majesty of Switzerland and the resilience of South Africa. From Hong Kong, Korea, Thailand, and Burma to all 50 U.S. states . . .

And do you know what I found?

It didn’t matter if I was in Florence or Peoria. We are all trying to learn the same thing. We are all trying to learn how to be human. We are all trying to figure out how to stay hopeful in a very complicated world.

So, whether you are listening in a high-rise in Hong Kong, a quiet room in Aliso Viejo, or right back in Central Illinois—keep listening. Keep reading.

And remember: You are building your own "Cuba" right where you stand.

This is On the Fly. If this tribute to my Mom touched your heart, share it with a neighbor. It could be a friend across the ocean or someone standing next to you in line. Let’s keep the conversation going and work toward building a world where everyone feels they belong.


I’m Patrick Ball. Stay curious, ask questions, and keep speaking.

We've moved! Join me over at On the Fly on Substack for my latest writing. 

Comments

Most Popular of All Time

On Becoming Real

Some things get better with wear: old shoes, old friendships, and old books. Especially old books. A new volume arrives with crisp corners and a spine that hasn’t yet learned to bend. An old one has been somewhere. It has traveled through time in the hands of people who may no longer be around to tell us what they found inside. The copy of The Velveteen Rabbit (first published in 1922) on my desk is one of those books. My friend Don Hanley gave it to me. This late-1950s Doubleday edition features William Nicholson’s original illustrations and cream paper boards softened by age. Worn corners, a split spine, and colored tabs mark passages worth revisiting. Don didn’t hand me a keepsake. He gave me homework. When we talked about the book recently, he pointed me straight to the nursery conversation between a young rabbit and an old Skin Horse. The rabbit had noticed the mechanical toys around him—the ones with internal gears, bright paint, and stick-out handles that seem terribly impressiv...

Engineering Beef Stew

On July 2nd—Day Two of what I call The Great Un-Working —I sat down with my morning notebook to map out this new chapter of my life. One goal made the list in bold ink: Learn to Cook. At seventy, I was adding a skill most people master before they’re old enough to drive. Before you judge me, understand our household ecosystem. Lori is a phenomenal cook. For decades, she’s made meals so effortless and delicious that restaurants seem unsatisfying . My contribution to the culinary arts during my bachelor years–tuna mixed into Kraft Mac & Cheese. Let’s just say I wasn’t threatening her spot on the Food Network. But retirement changed the equation. I’m officially off the clock while Lori is still working. And I had a lovely thought: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if she came home after a long day to find dinner waiting? She loved the idea. Then came the question that haunted me for weeks: “What do you want to make?” I had no idea. Apparently, the first step in learning to cook is deciding wh...

When the Universe Calls in Sick

Take Thoreau’s Advice . . .  Four weeks ago, we stood on the shore of Walden Pond in Concord, Massachusetts, trying to channel Henry David Thoreau. Before leaving, I bought a pocket-sized copy of his essay, Walking . It’s slim because nineteenth-century transcendentalists didn’t have notifications interrupting their urge to wander. Thoreau’s counsel is disarmingly simple: step away from modern life's machinery and let the landscape recalibrate your perspective. Back home in Vista, I took that philosophy straight into the backyard. Thursday morning, ink-black, pristine skies arrived. I aimed my refractor at Jupiter, whose light has bathed Earth since mastodons roamed the plains. It felt cosmic. Profound . I left the telescope mounted overnight, convinced the heavens were on retainer for an encore at daybreak. Naturally, the universe called in sick. By sunrise, a wall of coastal fog had rolled in off the Pacific, sealing the valleys beneath a damp, gray Tupperware lid. After about th...

The Gopher Problem and the High Powered Solution

Vacationing in Maine this week, just a short drive down the coast from Freeport, it is hard not to think about the outsized impact one frustrated outdoorsman had on the gear we all use today. Bad equipment can ruin a perfectly good day on the water or the trail, but it takes a special kind of vision to turn cold feet into a century-old empire. This is the story of the company we now know as L.L.Bean, but more importantly, it is a masterclass in integrity, learning from failure, and standing behind your work. In 1912, Leon Leonwood Bean faced a persistent problem: returning from expeditions in the Maine woods with cold, wet feet. Instead of complaining, he got creative. He had a local shoemaker stitch waterproof rubber soles onto the flexible leather uppers of a hunting boot. He called it the Maine Hunting Shoe and mailed a flyer promising perfect satisfaction. Then reality arrived. Ninety of his first 100 pairs failed when the rubber separated from the leather. Not an effective product...