The Art of the Annoying Question

In this episode, why "Cool" is the Enemy of Growth

Last night, Lori and I joined our friends (team #1) in a professional kitchen at Sur La Table in Carlsbad, CA., for a "Date Night in Southern Italy." On the menu: Steak Tagliata, Sautéed Shrimp with Fried Capers, and handmade Garganelli.

The experience was amazing, delectable food and an exceptional highlight: the Amalfi Lemon Gelato, complemented by the barrage of questions.

When I’m with someone like Chef Gaetano, who’s incredibly patient, I tend to ask a lot of questions quickly.

“Why use a fork to whisk the eggs and not a whisker?”

“What exactly is the chemical transformation of a fried caper?”

“If I roll this Garganelli a half-inch wider, does the sauce-to-pasta ratio collapse?”

I could see the look on a few other students' faces: Is this guy for real? Just eat the shrimp, Patrick.

But here’s the wisdom I’ve gathered after nearly six decades of being the annoying guy in the front row: The quality of your life is directly proportional to the courage of your curiosity.

In grade school, we’re often taught that asking too many questions is a sign of slowness or, worse, a lack of "cool." We want to look like we already know the technique. But as I move further into retirement, I’ve realized that cool is the enemy of growth.

Chef Gaetano, to his credit, fielded every question with the grace of a diplomat. And because I asked, I didn't just learn a recipe; I learned the mechanics of flavor. I learned that being an "active learner" means being willing to be the most inquisitive person in the room, even if it feels like you’re testing the Chef’s sanity.

The takeaway for your journey: Don't just follow the recipe of your life. Interrogate it. Ask the extra Why. The experts might break a sweat, but you’ll walk away with a much better seat at the table.

And if you’re ever in Carlsbad, ask for Gaetano. Just maybe give him a heads up before you start the questioning.

I’m Patrick Ball. Stay curious, ask questions, and this is On the Fly.

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